CONFESSION: Today...for some reason... my mind has got me reeling.
First, know this: I don't want you to think I am a negative person, or that I'm unhappy. I AM happy. I love my life. :) But I'm also having a moment... so please...just let me.
I have to say this.
When I meet someone, I give them everything. I don't hold back. I am me. I am all or nothing. I am vulnerable.
I DO NOT proceed with caution.
I DO NOT imagine what our relationship will be like in ten years...or maybe I do...but I never imagine you not being there.
I mate for life...even with friends.
And today, I'm missing you.
Even though the bridge between us has been burned...you were still my friend.
We shared moments.
We shared secrets.
We shared everything.
So today, as I'm sitting here thinking of you, and wondering how so many things have come between us...I just want one thing. For you to know that I miss you. That I still love you. The real you. Not the person you pretend to be....And because I can't call you up and tell you how I feel...this will have to do.
And although I know you won't read this...
maybe there's a chance that you will.
Maybe you'll know that I'm talking about you.
And maybe YOU will have enough courage to call me.
But I know that's just me wishing...so instead, I'll sit here, and reminisce about our past.
Wondering if it's all for the best.
Racheal, I feel the exact same way!! One of my childhood/teenager/justalittlebitofadult friend fits this to a "t". I have tried, and tried and tried to be her friend still, figure out what is going on with her. Nothing. It makes me sad that our kids don't play like we always said they would and that she and I don't get to share secrets and just be us anymore. Several years ago I finally "let go". Because it was to hard. I would get my hopes up when we would see each other and chat for a minute. After many years of doing this, I finally decided that she had let go and I need to as well. But, let me say this. There is still and very teeny tiny spot in me that knows, if she calls, or needs me, I'm still totally there. You are a great friend and she has missed out letting you go. :)
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I JUST saw this. Thank you. It's good to know that there are other people out there feeling the same way. That I'm not a complete creep for reminiscing. :)
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